07/15/00

Pat's Seaman Journal, Day One

After reading the journals of other intrepid Seaman discoverers on the
Internet, I decided today that I too wished to become involved in this
worldwide scientific phenomenon.  So I headed into town and in a 
back-alleyspecialty shop I was finally able to acquire a solitary Seaman egg and 
a handful of food pellets.

When I returned home, I carefully set up my aquarium, making sure that 
the temperature was optimal for hatching and that the Nautilus I purchased 
along with my egg (a squid like crustacean) was in the tank.  I cleaned the 
water by increasing the flow of oxygen and then, with everything in place, 
dropped the small white egg into the water.  I then went into the kitchen and 
fixed myself a nice breakfast of toasted bagels and scrambled eggs.

When I returned to the lab, I was delighted to find that the egg had 
hatched into eight (8) small creatures, which resembled eyeballs with tails.  I
observed these creatures, picking one up to examine its queer biology, 
and then quickly dropping it after it opened a single large, unblinking 
eye.

The "Mushroomers," as my research guide refers to the eyeball 
creatures, floated, swan and cartwheeled in place until the Nautilus crustacean 
ate several of them.  Four (4) Mushroomers survived the harrowing encounter
during which the others were snapped up by the Nautilus' long 
tentacle-like appendages and devoured whole.

After approximately ten minutes, I noticed that the Nautilus was 
behaving strangely.  It was lurching along the bottom of the aquarium and 
releasing an inky cloud into the water.  Next, it pulled its soft body out of its
protective shell and began what I can only describe as a hemorrhagic 
dance of death.  It spewed clouds of ink and blood, and thrashed around until 
it finally settled back to the aquarium floor, dead.  From its lifeless 
body sprang four (4) "Gillmen," which had apparently used the Nautilus as a 
host organism.

The Gillmen can only be described as small guppy-like fish with 
man-heads. They appear to have both gills and human breathing apparatus, and can 
remain underwater for long periods of time.  They do swim to the top of the 
tank occasionally to take a breath of air, however.

The Gillmen react to any noises, which includes tapping on the aquarium
glass and speaking to them.  They appear capable of communication; 
although the only words I've gotten out of them so far are what sounds like
gibberish-speak.  However, after about three hours of repeating words 
like "hello" and "Seaman" to one of them, an astonishing breakthrough 
occurred.

Out of nowhere, the Gillman said in its babyish voice, "why do Americans 

think everyone speaks English? Geez!"  After this remarkable pearl of
wisdom, it promptly returned to gibberish-speak for the remainder of 
the evening.

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