Sometimes games come along that are just too seriously weird for words. Moody talking fish breeding sessions, Maraca-shaking rhythm jams, mosquito flight sims and even Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen Personal Day Planners. (THE HORROR...the horror..).

So even after all this assorted weirdness and strange games, you would think that "No, they couldn't possibly top this..." Whatever, Mr. Ego Trip. You obviously don't know those kooky Japanese, home of the dating / life simulation. A couple of year's back, way back in '96, GAINAX, parent company to other such fine disturbing product as Neon Genesis Evangelion had released this game in Japan. But the interesting part, albeit unknown whether they were on cough syrup or what, is that the game almost made a green light on the US, but didn't quite make it for rumors ranging from cash flow problems to advocacy groups calling the game "offensive and demeaning to women" (What? Can't you go blame Mortal Kombat for wife beating and teen pregnancy?) Anyways, here it is, the almost complete version of Princess Maker 2, with just some translation tune ups (and possible sound issues) needed.

The story behind the game is that you were a famous hero in a long fought war. The gods in the heavens above recognize you as a great protector and instill you with the task of raising a small child from the age of 10 til' she is old enough to fend for herself at 18. They also said they would not interfere and whatever way you raise her to be is up to you. So your task is to raise this small child up to be a self dependant adult.

 I personally see the game as a cross between Natsune's Harvest Moon series and the Monster Rancher series from Tecmo, as you have to help you daughter progress and learn skills and eventually make a trade for herself, whatever that trade may be. The game give you a wide variety of options on what you may become, from the prestigious to the honorable to the seedy and disturbing. It all adds up to one strange game, where you could end up as the Queen or you could end up the Town Slut.

Graphically, even though this game was made 5 years ago, the nice anime still frames prove not every thing has to be spastically moving, cel shaded or 3D. The little animations that accompany you during your jobs are interesting to look at, but would have been nicer if there was more of them or just more variation in them. Also, even though the game is made infinitely easier on the eyes because of it, I sort of wish there was walking around town via a sprite based map. But it's still fairly well done as is. Other than that, the menus are cleanly laid out and the style it's presented in is nice and easy to understand, so game play moves right along.

Sound...well, I wish I could say that the sound worked on my version I got, but for some reason or another, it just wouldn't work, so I had to play without. I guess it didn't matter, I was running MP3's in the background and time still skipped away from me. I can imagine the game just has simple MIDI tunes and maybe a sound for you clicking. Nothing spectacular I'd assume.

Controlwise, point and click. It's a completely menu based game, with you keeping up on your daughter's statistics, health, studies and mood. I guess if playing God has no appeal to you, then this sort of game won't either. Thankfully, your choices aren't limited in the game, the menus aren't all that hard to navigate and there are plenty of save slots just in case for those of you that would like to corrupt/care for multiple girls.

All in all, you will be surprised how much time this thing will suck up. It's a great game, with a massive amount of replay based on the 60 or so different endings and the appeal of buying a leather dress for a young, buxom girl. (Geeky, you GOTTA be with me on this one....). You should enjoy it, but if you don't, well, leave the corrupting to the professionals.

The Reverend Mofat Jones wishes bondage queens were as easy to make as they are in the game.

And now.....