06/01/00

Brad's Quickies: June

I’m still playing catch-up. Here are a few more titles that released in the past couple of weeks:

Virtual On: Oratorio Tangram – Dreamcast – Sega for Activision. When Sega announced that it would not release this title domestically, I thought for sure that we were screwed. However, thanks to the good folks at Activision, we unwashed Americans can now enjoy this seminal mech fighting game. Graphically, this game is amazing, with high poly mechs and environments moving at a smooth 60fps. It’s fast, too – these mechs fly from one end of the arena to the other in a couple of seconds. Be warned, however, that the learning curve is very, very steep. It is a fighting game, but the controls more resemble those of Armored Core or Mechwarrior. Every button on the controller is used, sometimes for more than one command. Also, this baby was made for the (import) twin sticks, so if you don’t have ‘em, it can be rough. Since the D-pad is used for movement, and the analog is used for looking, strafing can be a pretty difficult endeavor. So, only the hardcore need apply. I, however, will be working on growing a second thumb on my left hand in order to master this bad boy. It’s a keeper.

My score: 10. We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!

Street Fighter Alpha 3 – Dreamcast – Capcom. Yeah, it’s another Street Fighter title. However, it’s probably the best one ever made. Like the PS version, this baby has all 36 characters, as well as that groovy dramatic battle mode, where two people can team up against the computer. The load times are nonexistent, as is the case with all of Capcom’s DC fighters. The "Internet features", for which this game was delayed oh so many times, are unfortunately quite lame. Ooooo, downloadable palette-swapped characters! Uh huh. I could definitely do without that. Still, if you can manage dragon punches on the stock DC controller, then by all means pick it up. It doesn’t get much better than this.

My score: 10. Hadoken!

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure – Dreamcast – Capcom for Tommo. Well, that title pretty much sums it up. This game is just plain weird. It’s basically just another Capcom fighter, but the main gimmick is that, in lieu of supers, each character can call on his or "stand", which seems to be some kind of inner force chi kind of thing. It actually works pretty well, but the stands, and the characters themselves, are just plain odd. You really have to see these things in order to fully grasp the strangeness on display here. The visuals are well-drawn sprites on 2-D backgrounds, but they don’t look nearly as good as SFIII, or even SF Alpha 3. In the end, JoJo isn’t as technical as Street Fighter, or as franticly fun as Marvel Vs. Capcom, but it is a pretty good game in its own right. It’s definitely worth checking out.

My score: 8 ½. Man, that’s weird.

4 Wheel Thunder – Dreamcast – Kalisto for Midway. What the hell happened here? At one point, the word was that this was gonna be a great continuation of the Thunder series. The unfortunate truth is that this game eats my ass. The graphics are okay, but the framerate chugs down to nothing during the unlikely event that there are more than two trucks onscreen at the same time. The control is kinda loose, but what really kills this game is the lame-ass execution. You see, you start each race with all of the other drivers way ahead of you, rally-style. So, you don’t actually race against the other drivers, but against the track itself. The game quickly becomes an Easter egg hunt for the turbos and shortcuts. Seriously, you will not place if fail to find every single turbo on the track. That, my friends, is not fun, no matter how much of a slack-jawed monster truck fan you happen to be. If you’re looking for another Hydro Thunder, this isn’t it. Avoid this one at all costs.

My score: 2. It smells like tinkle.

Nightmare Creatures – DC, PS – Kalisto for Konami. I wasn’t expecting much outta this one, and that’s exactly what I got. The sequel to one of the more overrated piles of dung that I have had the misfortune to play, NC2 is not good. At all. While the character designs are, shall we say, "interesting", the rest of the game is pure crap. The visuals only look a generation or two old on PS, but on DC, they look worse than almost anything else on the system (except Seventh Cross, of course). Everything looks to have two or so frames of animation, and the control is both loose and slow, with some truly egregious collision problems thrown in for good measure. And, I swear that there are only three environment textures in the whole game – every stage looks the same. The somewhat interesting combo system from the first game has been dropped in favor of "fatalities". These are kind of amusing the first time you see them, but the twentieth time may make you put a bullet in your head. Not even the Rob Zombie soundtrack can save this stinker. If you want spooky stuff, pick up any Resident Evil game or Sword of the Berserk.

My score: 3. Oh, it’s a nightmare, all right.

Grind Session – Playstation – Shaba for Sony. If there’s one thing that Sony is good at, it’s being a copycat. NFL Xtreme, Crash Bash, Supercross Circuit, and pretty much all of their sports games are merely rip-offs of other popular titles. Now, they throw out Grind Session, which is such a blatant copy of Tony Hawk that it shouldn’t even be legal. The graphics and animation are almost identical, and the control layout IS identical. There is a different soundtrack, but the songs are all from similar styled bands. Even the stage objectives are the same! It’s funny then, that with such a complete and utter rip-off job, the control still manages to be stiff and unresponsive. This sure as hell is not Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater.

My score: 4. Avoid this one just out of principle.

Mr. Driller – PS, DC – Namco. This one grows on you. At first, I didn’t like it at all – it just seemed kinda complicated for something as twitchy as a puzzle game. After some time, though, you get the hang of the mechanics, and it turns out to be pretty fun. This is basically a cross between Tetris and Dig-Dug. You have to knock down the blocks, but you have a little guy running around in there, drilling blocks and trying to avoid getting squashed. You also have to watch his air supply, so there is always a feeling of immediacy while you’re playing. This is definitely no Puzzle Fighter, but it is a fun diversion. And, by the way, the PS and DC versions are practically identical, so just pick up whichever version is cheaper.

My score: 7 ½. Yeah, that’s cute. Now, how about Soul Calibur 2?

The Misadventures of Tron Bonne – Playstation – Capcom. Now this is a game that is probably for Brad, and Brad only. This is a quasi-sequel to Mega Man Legends, but it stars the antagonist from that game, Tron Bonne. It seems that her wacky brother is in trouble with gangsters, so they need to steal all kinds of loot in order to get him out of said trouble. What ensues is a bunch of missions and mini-games that revolve around stealing cash, and lots of it. To be honest, the graphics aren’t that hot (it looks just like Legends), and the soundtrack is pretty weird. Some of the missions will drive you nuts, as well. So, why do I like it so much? Character, man. This game just oozes it. The antics of those Servebots never get old, and the characters and voice-overs are just plain cool. This game is definitely not for everyone, but if you’re looking for something different, this might just do the trick.

My score: 8 ½. Go forth, mighty Servebots, and destroy!

Well, that’s it for this round. There have been a lot of Dreamcast titles lately, neh? Thankfully, most of them have been pretty good. Anyway, next time we’ll look at Space Channel 5, Legend of Mana, and Gekido. Toodles.

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